Joe Rogan. You have taken two steps two far.
How dare you! You shiny-headed son of a b****! Criticize video games?! *hocks phlegm, spits* “pt00” … F*** you!
For those of you who don’t know: WARNING. WARNING. Joe Rogan criticized video games. And this… is news.
*PEW NEWS INTRO*
*ITS BACK BABY*
Joe Rogan passes controversial remarks on video games… what the f*** dawg? “Joe doesn’t really understand,” Ninja responds. My God! You don’t get it, Joe! Guess you’re not a gamer, huh? What the f***? Joe, I thought you liked Quake! Hey Joe:
For those of you who don’t know, Joe Rogan is a podcast host. I think he’s one of the most popular podcasts, I think, at least. And, I mean, I don’t know how you even have a podcast in 2020 without pissing someone off every week. And today, I guess he pissed off the gaming community.
(becomes theatrically melodramatic) This time, you’ve pissed off the WRONG crowd, Mister Joe! How DARE you! How DARE you criticize video games?
So, what did Joe Rogan say? Well, let’s check it out…
(switches to clip of Joe Rogan) “… and then they seek refuge in drugs, or video games, or something that stimulates them. So, video games are a real problem. You know why? Because they’re f***in’ fun. Addictive. I’ve got a real problem with them. You know? You do ’em, and they’re real exciting, but you don’t get anywhere… you could learn martial arts, right? You could learn jiu jitsu, you could get obsessed with jiu jitsu, and then, three years later, like, you’re like, you’re an elite jiu jitsu athlete, like you’re–“
(Felix cuts in) What kind of beta martial arts take three years to become elite? What the f*** dude?
“–you’re entering in competitions, you’re a purple belt, you’re movin’ up, yeah, you’re doin’ well, I might be able to open my own school one day, you’ve got confidence. If I’ve got 100 students, and those 100 students are paying me X amount of dollars per month–“
(Felix cuts in again) It’s almost like, if you have a stream or something like that, with a hundred viewers, and they pay you X number of dollars a month… *laughs* … WHY ARE WE TALKIN’ ABOUT JIU JITSU, MAN?
(in mocking voice) AY MAN, YOU EVER HEARD ABOUT JU– I’ve been doing it wrong. Gaming money: get the f*** outta here. I’m all about that jiu jitsu bread. I’m quitting YouTube right now. I could be making jiu jitsu money? This whole time? And nobody told me there was jiu jitsu money laying around this whole time? What the f***??
(Joe Rogan clip begins playing again) “I can make a living! Holy sh**, this would be amazing! And then you see your jiu jitsu school, and your instructor has all these students, and drives a Mercedes–“
Bro! I could have a Mercede-JiuJitsu-Mercedes! F*** Dammit! G’Dammit! I’ve been sold a pipe dream that isn’t real. I make no money.
*continues to rant … for another ten minutes … watch the video above!*
We love you, Felix. Never change.